Wednesday, 12 July 2017
Bloody Hell
I was just scrolling through the horror genre in Wattpad and looked through some of the stories. I don't even have to read the first chapter to know that they are cliched and unoriginal. More "gems" for you to laugh over. "Hide And Seek" 5.8 million reads, average of 129,323 people. "The Cellar" 20.5 million reads, average of 623,733 people. "Whatever You Do, Don't Read This" 93.5 thousand reads, average of 18,702 people. (That kind of defeats the purpose of the title, does it not?). "The Perfect Daughter" 140 thousand reads, average of 6089 people. (How is that a horror?) (Kidnaps, costs, promises) Blardy, blardy blah. Meanwhile, my novel "Losing Sleep" 1361 reads, average of 36 people. (Deary, deary me) These "writers" need some bloody education.
Saturday, 8 July 2017
Wattys 2017 Entries (Please Kill Me)
I have entered "Losing Sleep", "Inquisitor" and "Murder And Liquor" to the Wattys 2017. Surely one of them has got to win? Surely? Now, I was looking through the entries for this years Wattys and...I don't even know what to say anymore. All of it is absolute baloney. I am literally yawning as I go down the list. Just have a read of these "gems".
"Broken Hearts" (Uh, how original) 3.3 million reads. 121 thousand votes. "Hi, My Name Is Dan" (Hi Dan!) 851 thousand reads. 38.3 thousand votes. "7:23 AM" (No, really, that is the name of the book) 1.2 million reads. 94.5 thousand votes. "Our Story" (Blardy, blardy, f**kity, blah!) 3.3 million reads. 153 thousand votes. Should I go for one more? Yes, I think that I will. "The Hoodie Girl" (You already won last year, (How? I don't bloody know) why do you want to win again?) 41.2 million reads. 1.6 million votes. (No, really, those are the stats).
I want something original, not this type of baloney. I guarantee you that 90% of all of the entries are romance. Please...I want something original, not some cliched bull****. If I controlled the Wattys every year, no one would win, because of all of the bull****tery that I will have to waste my precious time over.
Okay, that's it, I'm done. See you in late September when the results are out. Probably the 25th or 26th, I don't know. But surely, I have got to win this year. If I don't, I will eat my hat.
"Broken Hearts" (Uh, how original) 3.3 million reads. 121 thousand votes. "Hi, My Name Is Dan" (Hi Dan!) 851 thousand reads. 38.3 thousand votes. "7:23 AM" (No, really, that is the name of the book) 1.2 million reads. 94.5 thousand votes. "Our Story" (Blardy, blardy, f**kity, blah!) 3.3 million reads. 153 thousand votes. Should I go for one more? Yes, I think that I will. "The Hoodie Girl" (You already won last year, (How? I don't bloody know) why do you want to win again?) 41.2 million reads. 1.6 million votes. (No, really, those are the stats).
I want something original, not this type of baloney. I guarantee you that 90% of all of the entries are romance. Please...I want something original, not some cliched bull****. If I controlled the Wattys every year, no one would win, because of all of the bull****tery that I will have to waste my precious time over.
Okay, that's it, I'm done. See you in late September when the results are out. Probably the 25th or 26th, I don't know. But surely, I have got to win this year. If I don't, I will eat my hat.
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