2017 Rant

2017. Brilliant. What a good year, eh?

Net neutrality. (Good for you) At least Jeremy Corbyn became a political rockstar. (Go Corbyn!) His manifesto included policies like helping poor people out, ensuring that doctors and teachers get paid properly, which people wrongly predicted that would make his voters run off. In the end, Theresa May was forced to team up with a bunch of Northern Irish creationists, just to stay in power. (Pfft!) Ever since Trump got in power, the death toll of people killed by guns has been going up. By statistics 15,000 people have been killed by guns, just this year -- that's 40 a day. What else? Oh yes, Grenfell Tower. People have still got no homes to go to as it's still a massive block of cinder. (Come now, it's not like you're trying to build a nuclear submarine, it's one flat) On the bright side of life, ISIS' grip on the Middle East is gone thanks to US air strikes and ground action. Over the last year, their grip on the territory has slipped -- this all started in July, by the way, so that's good. It just took five months. Imagine what could happen in a year. All they have now is a few villages and some plots of sand in the desert. But...this does mean that Iraq and Syria might go into war again. (Oh dear...) At least "Star Wars : The Last Jedi" made a 577 million dollar profit. Great film, in my opinion, loved it. Hopefully we will be able to get through 2018 without Kim Yong Un nuking the entire world. For now, the world can simply hold its breath and hope for the best.

Here's to 2018!

Meme Says It All

Well Done Geniuses...

Bloody net neutrality, eh? There is just three weeks until the deadline, there are at least 3.8 billion Internet users around the world and in two weeks there have only been under 585,000 calls for the battle for net neutrality. We're screwed. Do you people want to save the net or not? Hundreds of millions of us use the Internet every single day to be able to do our work, write up reports, letters, e-mails, invoices, so on and so forth. If we don't do anything now, then we won't be able to do anything later. It's now or never people!

God, I do miss the 13th century. It was a simpler time back then.

Hilarious

I've just binge-watched three episodes of "Hogan's Heroes" on YouTube. Oh, they don't make comedies like this anymore. What a shame. Watch it, it's hilarious. It's possibly my favourite TV series.

Oh Dear...

I looked at the stats of "Losing Sleep" and I have seen that it has 1543 reads in total. Given that it is 38 chapters and the reads are the total of all of the chapters, that adds up to an average of 40.605 people in total. And yet, only one person has commented on it, actually giving me advice. What's up with the rest of you? Is it that much of a task to write a single comment, telling me if it was good or bad, if it was dull or scary? Why, oh why? For crying out loud, I need to get my novels published ASAP, otherwise I might lose my mind.

Oh For Crying Out Loud

Why is it when these people read my books, they never bother to read it in bloody order? Just have a read of this. "Losing Sleep". Prologue, 147 reads. Chapter 1, 96 reads. Chapter 2, 71 reads. Chapter 3, 86 reads. Oh, I'm sorry, did the 15 of you just get bored and decide to skip chapter 2? Well I'm sorry for that. Chapter 4, 42 reads. Okay, so more than half of you decided to skip a crucial chapter about the antagonist. Okay, that's fine by me, your loss. Chapter 5, 34 reads. Chapter 6, 20 reads. Chapter 7, 69 reads. Oh, hello, welcome back, it's not like you missed a crucial story line or something. Chapter 19, 129 reads. Really, you're just going to skip half of the novel, just for that scene? Wow. Chapter 26, 78 reads. Why? You just decide to spoil the entire storyline for yourself without even knowing who the other characters are and why they...you know what, never mind, suit yourself. Chapter 31, 57 reads. You...just...why? Chapter 32, 16 reads. The most horrifying nightmare, and you all decide to skip it. Okay, that's fine with me. Chapter 35, 36 reads. It's not my fault that you spoiled it for yourself. Chapter 36, 29 reads. So, the 7 of you just decided to leave the cliffhanger? Okay, fine, fine, that's good. Why can't you people read something in order for once? Mm? What is so hard about that? The most horrifying novel that you could lay your eyes upon, that will fill you with dread that will stay with you for weeks -- and you decide to skip crucial chapters and not be even bothered to read it in order. Deary, deary me. Anyway, enough of my rant, I have got more novels to write. Please, at least try to read the chapters in order -- it will save me a lot of pain, and plus, you will be able to understand what the blin is going on in the plot. You really think that my novels are the same as everything that you've read?...Think again. It's been nice speaking to you, have a good day.

Wattys 2017 Awards (How...Just...How?)

First of all, I just want to say that my hat was delicious. I lost. Again, for the third year in the row. Whoop-de-freaking-doo. Now then, let us see the "winners".

"After Midnight", 64,800 reads, 6,816 votes. Oh, great, a magical golden ring that allows the wearer to see ghosts, where have I heard that before? (Lord Of The Rings, cough cough).

"7:23 AM", 1,948,987 reads, 138,002 votes. A stranger sending text messages to the protagonist. And the genre is in "Humour". What's humorous about that? (It's bloody mortifying).

"I'm A Gay Wizard", 120,681 reads, 6,242 votes. Satanism, unicorns and magic -- wait what? Satanism? Oh, yeah, that's a good book to read. Also, the protagonist is stalked by an entity in his dreams. Now then, let me think (Harry Potter, cough cough).

Let's go for one more.

"Breathe Again", 90,101 reads, 8,492 votes. In which Hanna Jung, with the help of Xavier Park, learns to breathe again. No, really, that is the synopsis. (Why?).

Meanwhile, my books. "Losing Sleep", 1,471 reads, 5 votes. "Inquisitor", 291 reads, 0 votes. "Murder And Liquor", 181 reads, 0 votes.

How was it that "Losing Sleep", "Inquisitor" and "Murder And Liquor" lost to all of them? I need a long break to Australia. Right, tell me, (Even though you're not going to). How can I ask Wattpad HQ to stop these absurd entries? Compared to everyone there, as far as I know, I am Edgar Allan Poe. Right, that's it, I'm done. I've got a novel to complete anyway.

Rain

Take a breather, relax a bit, listen to some rain, everything will be okay.

Bloody Hell

I was just scrolling through the horror genre in Wattpad and looked through some of the stories. I don't even have to read the first chapter to know that they are cliched and unoriginal. More "gems" for you to laugh over. "Hide And Seek" 5.8 million reads, average of 129,323 people. "The Cellar" 20.5 million reads, average of 623,733 people. "Whatever You Do, Don't Read This" 93.5 thousand reads, average of 18,702 people. (That kind of defeats the purpose of the title, does it not?). "The Perfect Daughter" 140 thousand reads, average of 6089 people. (How is that a horror?) (Kidnaps, costs, promises) Blardy, blardy blah. Meanwhile, my novel "Losing Sleep" 1361 reads, average of 36 people. (Deary, deary me) These "writers" need some bloody education.

Wattys 2017 Entries (Please Kill Me)

I have entered "Losing Sleep", "Inquisitor" and "Murder And Liquor" to the Wattys 2017. Surely one of them has got to win? Surely? Now, I was looking through the entries for this years Wattys and...I don't even know what to say anymore. All of it is absolute baloney. I am literally yawning as I go down the list. Just have a read of these "gems".

"Broken Hearts" (Uh, how original) 3.3 million reads. 121 thousand votes. "Hi, My Name Is Dan" (Hi Dan!) 851 thousand reads. 38.3 thousand votes. "7:23 AM" (No, really, that is the name of the book) 1.2 million reads. 94.5 thousand votes. "Our Story" (Blardy, blardy, f**kity, blah!) 3.3 million reads. 153 thousand votes. Should I go for one more? Yes, I think that I will. "The Hoodie Girl" (You already won last year, (How? I don't bloody know) why do you want to win again?) 41.2 million reads. 1.6 million votes. (No, really, those are the stats).

I want something original, not this type of baloney. I guarantee you that 90% of all of the entries are romance. Please...I want something original, not some cliched bull****. If I controlled the Wattys every year, no one would win, because of all of the bull****tery that I will have to waste my precious time over.

Okay, that's it, I'm done. See you in late September when the results are out. Probably the 25th or 26th, I don't know. But surely, I have got to win this year. If I don't, I will eat my hat.

Novella

I gave up. "Murder And Liquor" is now officially a novella at 31,257 words. My first noir book. I have also created a front cover for it and have officially published it on Wattpad. I think that it might be one of my best front covers yet. What do you think?

Novella

As of now, the word count for "Murder And Liquor" is 31,006. Just give me a month and I'll probably be able to add another 18,994 words. This is going to be fun.

Full Draft

Yay! It only took me half a year, but I finally completed the first full draft of "Murder And Liquor". Now I just have to find a way on how to add another 24,000 words. Whoop-de-freaking-doo. Or I could just add 4,000 words and turn it into a novella. That would be good, but...nah...a novel is better.

Wattys 2017

It's another year for the Wattys! I have entered my mystery/thriller novella "Inquisitor" and also my horror novel "Losing Sleep". I swear, if I don't win this year, I will eat my hat. I don't even need to remind you about the winners last year. I just shudder thinking about it.

Oh, and, hi everyone! I'm back!

More Revelations

It's almost been two months and I had another revelation. Trying to make the movies is going to be bloody hard work. So, I am now back to writing novels. It's easier, I have all of the ideas. So I am going to scrap the scripts. Why? First of all, I don't even have the money for the camera equipment, I don't have the actors, I wouldn't even know where to start. And besides -- why do something yourself when you can get other people to do it for you? And I have always wanted to have my very own personal library of my own novels in my house. A little retreat for me to go to when things might get tense. So now, I am back to my old writing ways.

1 Month And 1 Day

Whoop-de-doo. Frank Season 1 is officially completed. When I mean completed, I mean the script, not the tv series. That is still a long way away. But now, I can finally get on with Season 2. 4 more seasons left to go and a lot more calculations to do to find out the budget of the movies and the series. I do so love my job.

Inquisitor Script

The Inquisitor script only took me a week. Maybe it's because it is a novella, only at 30k words instead of 50k like Losing Sleep. And now, for my next trick, I am going to be writing the script for "Frank -- Season 1", which is at over 100k words.

Yay. Fun.

Completed

It only took a little less than 2 weeks, but I completed the script of "Losing Sleep".

Now I will need to get on with "Inquisitor".

Revelations

My writing career is officially over. As I was writing "Murder And Liquor", I realised...if I do manage to write all of the 96 books...when will I have time to direct the movies? So, instead, I have given up on writing novels and instead, I am writing scripts. Surely, that should only take me around a decade and a half or so. Then I will have the rest of my life to have time to direct them. Easy peasy.

1 five season series and 46 movies to direct.

Great...

That FU***NG Bird

Why is it, every time I scroll down my news feed, I see that damn "Trash Dove". Fitting name..."Trash". It's only been two weeks and it's already been driving me mad. I mean, what is so brilliant about it? It's just a fu***ng bird that headbangs and looks like it's about to snap its neck off. Oh, dear. Well, at least I have my playlist to keep me sane.

So, how has everyone's day been?

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1,024 reads on "Losing Sleep"

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